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Bad Boris Dreams

Did Boris have a favourite lilo he used to float around on when he was young? After his ‘Olympic legacy’ floating park on the Thames ‘sank’ into oblivion it seems he has been using bath time to dream up some more lilo type developments for the river and the Royal docks. Boris’ original idea was criticised by objectors as ‘an unwelcome intrusion’ into the river. The Port of London Authority was also unhappy and considered his watery park would be a ‘navigation hazard’. His new plan for homes floating in the Docks has been panned as a ‘Titanic mistake’ by London City Airport campaigner Alan Haughton who says ‘The Royal Docks contains the London City Airport Public Safety Zone - also called a crash zone. The Department for Transport strictly forbids development in a Crash Zone’.

The Royals are also the location of another of Boris’ bubble projects, the expensive and underused Cable Car, while his Barclays bike hire scheme has also come in for criticism over costs and problems with finding or leaving bikes. The bikes couldn’t be taken into the Olympic Park as their Barclays connection meant they would offend Olympic sponsors, the Park where, of course, another Boris project dreamed up on the back of an envelope with Mr Mittal stands, the meccano Orbit, which included ore mined from the site of a Serb concentration camp at Omarska in Bosnia, looking ever more like a misplaced stack of scrap metal. Then of course there were Boris’s other Olympic fantasies like the high jumper over the Westway and the Trafalgar Square Zip Wire which simply bit the dust.

Talking of dust, apparently the EU Commission is investigating Boris for sticking it to the ground with glue sticks during the Olympics to avoid pollution fines. What a piece of work!

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