The best the Barbican's blurb for the Open East Festival comes up with is "Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park will be London’s newest urban park." It isn't even remotely funny in comparison to some classic previous performances:-

Carpenters timeline: updated 8 May 2013

Alexandra Wrage is the president of TRACE, "an organization that provides sane, cost-effective compliance solutions to the problem of international commercial bribery". She served, for a time, on the Independent Governance Committee of FIFA, football’s governing body. She recently resigned due to a perceived lack of progress from the organisation in improving internal transparency.

Peers are apparently keen to prevent appointment of fellow peer the Baroness Grey Thompson (of the £7500 a

Eight months after the so-called first digital Olympics Weymouth, the home of sailing during London 2012, has just got the high-speed broadband BT promised would be available for the Olympics. Bizarrely, BT blamed the Olympics for delaying the Olympic broadband!

It was something of a joy last night to attend the launch at the Institute of Education of Phil Cohen's East London and the Post Olympics. Part of that joy for me was meeting up with commonKnowledge tovarich John Wallett who spoke briefly and featured in the film shown, Lights on for the Territory.

Usain Bolt is to get £500,000 for appearing at this summer's Olympics Anniversary event. Up till now Bolt has been the victim of 'punitive' tax laws which have prevented him earning these absurd sums in the past, but now the law has been changed to rectify this injustice! His British rivals, the likes of Ennis and Farah, will have to make do with a miserable £100,000 or so.

One family seems to be doing nicely out of the Olympics. Mrs Windsor's nephew made a profit out of selling Jubilee and Olympics commemorative items at £3,900 a throw. Mrs Windsor herself was awarded an Honorary BAFTA and was ludicrously described as the 'most memorable Bond girl yet'. The Olympic Park is, of course, named after a famous ship, the QEII. A further example of this interminable sycophancy is the renaming of another local park, Marsh Lane Fields, where the Manor Gardens Allotments were forcibly relocated, the instantly forgettable Leyton Jubilee Park.